I guess it was bound to happen eventually. My entire life is on my computer: all my writing, all my accounting, all my graduate school applications. So imagine my sheer panic yesterday when — 15 minutes before a grad school professor was supposed to call to chat about my future — the screen of my MacBook went white. Over the course of eight hours and at least one chill pill, my roommates and I were able to recover a lot of my data. I took the machine into the Apple store today, and they replaced the hard drive completely. Overall verdict: no fun at all.

Of course, I blame my computer hubris. I don’t travel often with my laptop. I don’t jump up and down while holding it. I even try to be especially nice to it at home. My one sin against the Apple gods is never — and I mean never — backing up. I know you’re supposed to, and trust me I’m going to start, but somehow I thought it couldn’t happen to me. Sitting on my sofa while my Mac engineer roomy struggled to recover my data, I felt like I contracted some horrible disease I still couldn’t fathom.

For the moment I’ve borrowed my fiancé’s old PowerBook, which felt slightly more like home once I plastered Pikachu’s enormous face on the desktop. Still, I’m learning what a crutch my computer is in general. Without my Firefox bookmarks, without my saved passwords, without my million sticky notes recording what articles I have assigned for whom and due when, I’m feeling pretty darn lost in my own work life. Who am I again? What am I supposed to be writing? It’s a bit like leaving home one afternoon only to return to discover someone has changed all the locks and rearranged all the furniture — and yet they expect you to carry out business as usual.

The one upside to having no computer this weekend: some downtime to take in Fallout 3 and Far Cry 2. More on those soon — when the digital universe and I are on slightly better terms…

This week has been full of guilt, mostly because of the review copies of awesome games have been piling up in front of my TV — which now kind of includes an early release of the New Xbox Experience (expect a glowing review post early next week). It has also, as per usual, been full of articles:

- “Can’t Keep Track of Your Sex Life? The Internet Can,” in which I talk about Bedpost, MyBlackBook, Boffery, and tracking your bedroom adventures on the internet (Click Me).

- “Is There a Link Between Cybersex and Depression?,” in which I talk hotel room fantasies, bad research, and how strange it is my sexy professor is only six years my senior (The Clickable Clit).

- “Top 7 Disney Villains Who’ve Defied Gender Expectations,” in which I express my love for Ursula’s vagina house and Captain Hook’s thing for young boys (Heartless Doll lists).

- “10 Apartment Pets Rated on Maintenance vs. Huggability,” in which I call bunnies stupid and snake owners creepy (Heartless Doll lists).

- “Up Close and Personal with Apple’s Macbooks,” in which I translate a review of, you guessed it, Apple’s new line of Macbooks (Tom’s Guide).

- “Comparing the DSi and the DS” (DS.about.com).
- Review: Kirby Super Star Ultra (DS.about.com).

Posts of mine from elsewhere you’ll like (I’m psychic):
- Internet puppies make everything six times better.
- How to condescend to women about technology, the book.
- Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia’s female lead breaks mold.

Does having sex online make you sad? What about looking at porn? What about sending erotic emails? According to a new study to come out of Australia, men who engage in those activities have a higher tendency to be depressed and anxious. Trouble is, lots of news outlets have been running with this story as if it implies that anyone and everyone who engages in some sort of sexual entertainment online must be, by definition, mentally ill. You can imagine how happy that makes me. Let’s look at the facts from the strangely ubiquitous article about the study and see what’s wrong here:

Most [of the men studied] spend more than 12 hours on the sites each week mostly chatting, participating in cyber sex with webcams, downloading video and images, or sending erotic emails… More than 27 percent of them were moderate to severely depressed on the standard scales. Another 30 percent had high levels of anxiety and 35 per cent were moderately to severely stressed. Apparently the more they engaged in online sexual activity, the higher their level of depression and anxiety was.

Issue #1) We need a much more tightly conceived, well-informed definition of cybersex here. The study claims to be the most extensive on the subject currently available, and yet we hardly know what it’s studying. Any man who spends any amount of time doing anything sexual online?

Issue #2) Only men were taken into consideration for this study. Sure, researchers claim women are too hard to track down — like “the holy grail,” apparently — but are they really expecting us to believe women don’t flirt via email or AIM? According to this wishy washy definition of cybersex, that might count just as much as hardcore porn.

Issue #3) Who the heck are these guys? From the little reporting (instead of wild, judgmental speculation) that’s been done on this study, it’s impossible to tell how these men were selected. Frankly, spending 12 hours a week engaged in some sort of sex online is quite a lot. Some experts would say that borders on internet porn addiction. So really, what these researchers are saying is there’s a link between depression and anxiety and addiction? Well yeah, duh.

Issue #4) We’re too quickly assuming we’re dealing with a cause and effect situation. Cybersex doesn’t make you sad. Maybe there’s some reason people who are sad are having cybersex.

Issue #5) We need to know how these numbers compare to national standards for depression. I wouldn’t be surprised if the same number of non-cybersex-loving males would turn up the same numbers given the same questions.

If we gamers love anything more than games, it’s awesome, game-related merchandise. That’s why Women in Games International is hosting a holiday auction — with yours truly as the organizer — which will kick off next Saturday the 22nd. All auctions will be open for public bidding on eBay, and all proceeds will go to help WIGI continue to do awesome work representing women in games.

But that’s not all! (Yes, I am an infomercial.) Thanks to generous donations from companies and individuals across the game industry — including Bungie, Microsoft Game Studios, and Electronic Arts — we’ve got literally more than 100 items up for auction. Here’s a preview of some of the things I think fellow gamers are going to really dig:

- High-quality black Halo 3 messenger bag
- Vintage Electronic Arts watch
- Signed special edition Xbox 360 copy of Frontlines with signed Kaos shirt
- Signed Gears of War messenger bag, Gears of War bottle opener, and An Inside Look at Gears of War 2 book
- Signed PC copy of Mass Effect

We’ve also got tons more shirts, signed posters, and game design books. Ooh, and this street sign that implies human bodies will be ripped in half. That may be my favorite. Anyways, if there’s a gamers on your holiday list (or you just really like stuff) remember to bid starting November 22nd on the WIGI auctions!

You’ve heard of The Uncanny Valley, right? Well, have you heard of the Lesbian Uncanny Valley? Not unless you’ve read this post from Lesbian Gamers, you haven’t. Check it out. Just like how human creations can feel real but off, so can lesbian video game characters. They write:

It’s not enough to have fake lesbians in anything, gaming included. If they come across to the viewer / player as something less than real, we dip down into the uncanny valley and it makes us feel uncomfortable. This also bleeds into the issue of the straight male creator of lesbian content. If a straight man is creating a lesbian, it won’t be the same as if a lesbian creates it and thus would probably (but not always*) fall into the uncanny valley.

These girls aren’t just talking about the difference between questionable lipstick lesbians and the real, human-and-therefore-flawed deal. They’re also talking about the little things that go wrong in games that clue us in we’re not dealing with a believable lesbian character:

Take the newly released “Fable II” as an example. In “Fable II” there are lesbians, it is clearly stated in their profile. A female player character can flirt, marry and bed the lesbian characters, a great addition to the game, but when your lesbian wife calls you “handsome” as opposed to beautiful during sex, or says “Ooh you’re so strong” you topple into the valley. Now granted some lesbian ladies might be both, but it just seems as though the character is talking to a male character which tumbles you into uncanny territory.

Their suggestion for creating better gay girls in games?

Look at characters lesbians think are cool and use bits and pieces. Think Frankendyke… a little bit of Dana Scully, some Bette Porter, a sprinkle of Buffy Summers, some Xena and bam… make sure you put a marker in she’s a lady lover and you’re away.

I don’t know that it’s really that simple, but it would be great to see a believable, down to earth, female gay character in a mainstream game — hopefully that doesn’t even focus on sex. Yes, I know, I of all people are calling for less sex. The irony.

As others before me have noted, this new Snoopy game from Smart Bomb Interactive actually looks like a decent, enjoyable flight simulator. Yup, Snoopy: World War I Flying Ace has action, adorable Nazis pre-Hitler German soldiers, and lots of explosions. Wait, what? Check out the trailer.

I admit, I haven’t played the previous Snoopy games, like Snoopy vs. the Red Baron — but compared to old screen shots, this new title looks downright violent, or at least menacing. I don’t mean it as a bad thing, just a surprising (and perhaps out-of-character) one. The landscapes Snoopy is flying through seem dark and foreboding. The attacks he launch spark real damage on his enemies. Sure, the Germans he’s fighting are super cute, but that makes the semi-realistic fighting on the backdrop of a historical war all the more striking. Adorable Nazis pre-Hitler German soldiers meet less than adorable ends.

Maybe I’ve missed out on some dark side to Snoopy, but this to me reads like putting Hello Kitty in a fighting sim and watching her battle it out with all of her Sanrio buddies by ripping out their spines, Mortal Combat-style — which is to say, kind of awesome. I look forward to checking out the game for real when it comes out… sometime.