September 11th, 2008

Has it really been a year since we last talked about the impressively large and diverse breasts of Soul Calibur IV? I got a chance to play the latest edition of the game that ensure us “the soul still burns” (even if the hockey announcer has stopped saying that) while staying with Weekly Geek friends up at PAX. Needless to say, it’s a ton of fun, but the funnest part is still the character design. That means wacky costumes, horrible hair, and, of course unbelievable breasts.

Large breasts, small breasts, breasts that defy physics and space/time: Soul Calibur IV has them all. And while they’re fun to stare at and/or remark on, I must say, as a girl, they cause me a bit of anxiety. Every time I jumped into the air to kick someone’s ass as Ivy — whose boobs are not only epic, they’re held in place by the itsy bitsiest excuse for a bra — I fear, “What if my avatar’s breasts come flying out of her outfit?” Sure, I know it’s not going to happen, but when that much flesh, not to mention the ability to hit off people’s clothing, someone’s bound to have a wardrobe malfunction…

Tags: bodies, female characters, new games

4 Responses to “Soul Calibur IV comes with breast stress”

  1. Chris Says:

    We also found that even the small breasts act like they are powered by some unforseen gyro force. They move and jiggle like they are made out of really antsy water.

  2. soulofaqua Says:

    First time I played it was at the local Gameshop so they already had quite some armour permutations unlocked and the first thing I did was make my own female character, a nice looking girl with a high pitched evil voice. Great fun, then my friend Dracovich joined for a nice fight, halfway through the game Dracovich destroyed my chest armour… I was wearing a dress so immediately my whole wardrobe was gone…. we stared and stared saying WTF and OMG… then he finished it the bastard. Not giving me a chance to get my concentration back.

  3. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    That’s so true, Chris. Wait, you mean small breasts don’t actually giggle around defying the laws of science?

  4. remote Says:

    Excellent, thanks!

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