May 16th, 2008

I just got back from being in Morocco for a week, and boy has the world of sex and video games been a crazy place since I went away. Ok, that’s a total lie; not much went on. However, while I retrace the fading henna on my hand with a Sharpie, why not read some tidbits from the last seven days?

-Zero Punctuation is my hero. Unlike the rest of the game reviewing world, who’s blushed then fainted in admiration at the very sight of Grand Theft Auto IV, he has the balls (and the adorably coarse British wit) to call it on its mediocrity. Good game? Probably. Second coming of zombie Jesus. Probably not.

-Meanwhile, Lesbian Gamers scoffs at the idea of GTA IV pushing a gay agenda. Personally, I think Rockstar’s daily planner looks like this: 9 a.m. wake up and eat pancakes, 10 a.m. turn the American youth into violent, sex-crazy criminals, 11 a.m. commence the giant gay party. There’s most likely a cover charge at the door, which the sex-crazy criminal youth can pay for with all the money they’ve stolen. I’m quite certain it’s some sort of world domination plot.

-In hot chick news, Playboy has named a “Cyber Girl of the Year”–whom Kotaku reports with wide-mouthed astonishment, is a “true player,” not one of those girl gamer posers. While I’m not quite sure what makes her a “cyber girl,” I am sure Heroine Sheik readers will get a kick out of the massive conversation thread in which Kotaku commenters try and figure out whether someone so attractive could actually play games. It’s like an awesome mind puzzle or something.

And yes, this wonderful LOLcat has nothing to with anything–except that it makes me happy. Of course, it would’ve made more sense to post a picture of that sexy Playboy model. But it’s Friday. You’ve got to live a little. Hug a kitty. Even a communist one. So happy weekend!

Tags: Links

4 Responses to “This Week: Ballsy, Gay, and Baffling”

  1. Duoae Says:

    It’s patently obvious that no one so attractive could play games (with the exception of myself of course ;) ) and be good at them. However, playing games and being good at games are two different things :)

    We all know how the ‘attractive – good at things’ scale works in life and we (generally) know the point at which we lie on it. It’s like Murphy’s Law – you just can’t argue with reality!

    On a related note, pigs do have wings but have forgotten how to use them. :)

    There are other sites that have lemented the relative mediocrity of GTA IV but they don’t have anywhere near the amount of press coverage that The Escapist and hence ZP gets.

  2. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Oh yeah? Who else has put out critical reviews? I’d be really curious to see them…

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