March 28th, 2008

-Now that everyone has seen the Guitar Hero on Tour controller that attaches to the Nintendo DS, I have to ask: does no one else find it a little creepy? I’m not weirded out that Activision has cut an actual (toy) guitar out of the equation, or even that they’re blatantly milking the franchise for everything it’s worth. Something about the button layout is just, I don’t know, wrong. I had a music teacher once who used to practice by playing his chest like a piano. We kids always thought he was up to something sexual. This is like that, but with brightly colored buttons.

-Down with sexism! Up with equality! Instead of stopping our objectification of female game characters, let’s just objectify the heck out of male ones. Take this list of the “25 Hottest Men in Game” for example. Interesting stuff, but somehow Solid Snake is right up there next to Link. Don’t you think our blond-haired hero would look a little underdeveloped against a muscle-covered, gun-wielding hunka hunka burning machoness? Don’t get me wrong, I prefer my male characters pale and pretty, but still…

-Thank goodness somehow else finally appreciates the one thing Birdo and our own Sheik have in common: glorious, glorious gender ambiguity. “Oh no, I don’t identify as male or female. I identify as crazy pink dinosaur creature with a penis vagina for a mouth and a bow. It’s nice to meet you.”

Happy Weekend!

Tags: game characters, Links, new games

3 Responses to “This Week: Touchy Feely, Scrawny, and a Little Bit of Both”

  1. Courtney Taylor Says:

    OK, the most disturbing thing about that top 25 list, is the fact that Pyramid Head made it into the top 10… O.o

    But I’m totally psyched about Guitar Hero for the DS!!

  2. Darkpen Says:

    I don’t understand what’s disturbing about the guitar hero ds peripheral….?

    If anything, I find it kinda neat, though shitty in comparison to Jam Sessions.

    Also, Auron and Balthier’s placement on that list is questionable, as well as Sephiroth’s own high placement. Auron and Balthier are both what we call “a man’s man,” right next to Solid Snake D:

    Sephiroth is not. Nor is Link.

  3. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    In general, the list seems to me like a pretty weak attempt. No photos? Still, fun to pick at :).

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