March 13th, 2008

What fantasies do you live out through cybersex?

In the spirit of what’s apparently become reader response week at Heroine Sheik, this online sex expert is once again bowing to the sheer awesomeness of what you readers have to say. Today I don’t want to talk about inappropriate cakes or Smash Bros. Brawl though (ok, I always want to talk about those things), I just want to know your deepest, darkest, sexiest secrets.

“No way, lady!” you’re thinking–but let me explain. A while back I told you about this awesome new book called Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?. It’s sort of the Kinsey report for sexual fantasies. Basically, it reveals that almost everyone has one or two fantasies they use throughout their lives–whether to get off while masturbating, or to conjure up during less-than-inspiring sex. Brett Kahr, the author of the study, comes up with lots of explanations for people’s fantasies, but usually it boils down to taking control of your past and turning it, well, sexy.

My question is: does the same rule apply to cybersex? We hear all the time how cybersex helps us live out our fantasies. So do we have tried-and-true cybersex fantasies the way we do in real-life? Really, I want to know what scenarios you play out in online bed! Before you get worried I’m going to wave the magic psychoanalysis wand, rest assured, I just want to make an anonymous list for an upcoming Click Me. And if you’re not comfortable leaving your cybersex fantasy as a comment, you’re always free to email it to me. To kick things off, I’ll even show you what my response would look like:

Anonymous Respondent #1: “Since I mostly have cybersex for research, and my goal is to learn about other people’s desires, I don’t often get to live out my own fantasies. When I do though, they usually involve bondage or submission. I’m a sub in real life, so it’s not surprising that I like to role-play being forced into servicing people–sometimes two men, sometimes a man and a woman–then being taken advantage of and used roughly. I also enjoy being talked to with dominant language, told what to do, called names, etc., which works well in text-based environments.”

While I go crawl into a corner, the rest of you actually anonymous fantasize-rs should totally respond to this post. Remember, it’s for science, or something!

Tags: cybersex, Thanks reader!

12 Responses to “Your Deepest Cybersex Fantasies”

  1. Scott Jon Siegel Says:

    Love that picture.

  2. Anon Says:

    My stuff mostly includes femdomming (which I’m not, and probably never will be ,into in the actual world) and mature women with young-ish guys (which comprised the majority of my early sex years). I guess the ideal cybersex for me includes wildly taboo fantasies where the act isn’t so much of a turn-on as it is the rule you’re breaking. Twin play, for example. The idea of it definitely doesn’t appeal in real life, and not necessarily even in-game. But the “badness” of it really winds me up.

    But ideally, I think what really stokes my fire is roleplaying a pair of characters for a long time. Weeks (or months, even) until everything’s just about ready to burst. Then *POP* goes the sex. If it’s ‘forbidden’ that’s just the icing on the cake.

  3. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    I love that picture too, but that’s not an answer, Scottathon. If know you don’t cyber much, but still…

    That’s really interesting, Anon, that you keep the same characters and only use them eventually for sex.

  4. Courtney Taylor Says:

    Well, a lot of times during cyber sex, I do things I would like to try in real life, but haven’t had the opportunity yet -like sleeping with two men, or some of the more hardcore bondage and rape fantasies I have…

    I also apparently have a thing for placing myself in the role of a gay man. Something about that really turns me on.

    But I like to try new things, and be creative. I like to role play, and do things I haven’t done in real life. It’s nice.

  5. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Any particular “gay man” scenario you’ve used?

  6. Leg Lover Says:

    As you know, Bonnie, like Courtney I like to try things I haven’t done in real life. It is fun meeting up with an open minded woman and sharing and exploring such role playing.

    While I do like to incorporate my fetish of hosiery and lingerie into role play, I enjoy exploring beyond my real life experiences, say sometimes some light bondage, and I just love to talk very nasty and dirty.

    My darkest cyber fantasies include voyerism, bondage, stranger sex and sometimes age play, even playing younger guys to older women.

    Hell, if its creative and something different – I am all for it!

  7. Anon Says:

    “That’s really interesting, Anon, that you keep the same characters and only use them eventually for sex.”

    Well I guess I’ve had a different path than most. Instead of it being an AIM-based “I grab ur titz (lol)” you’ve got a bunch of people together in a text client, you all have characters with their own backstories (“I’m a werewolf… that has sex with people.” or “I’m a super hero! …that has sex with people.” Or “I’m Link from Legend of Zelda, but somewhere along the line I got turned into a hermaphrodite… and also a catgirl… and also I’m a lesbian now… … and also I have sex with people.”) Basically, it’s not yourself, and (normally) it’s not something you do for relief with your girlfriend when she’s away visiting her parents. It’s all very “high concept”, or at least that’s what their participants would have you believe when they’re playing as Tifa from Final Fatansy VII except she has two cocks and what the player describes as “FFF Cup” breasts.

    So in reality it’s pretty much the same thing, just more verbose. In THEORY it’s about taking these characters and playing them through like real people and eventually getting to sex maybe if you click with the right person, just like real life! (well, real life with the veneer of a K-Mart romance novel) In practice, it’s really just the same thing as “I grab ur boobz, lol” you just use more adjectives to get the job done.

    But I don’t know, I haven’t been reading this site very long. Maybe I’m just reiterating what the people here already know…

  8. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    That all sounds really cool actually, Anon. Is it always the same people who get together? How long do you usually role-play for? I’d actually love to sit in/possibly participate in a session sometime!

  9. Viesh Says:

    Like one of the Anon’s above. I have a MUD that I log into to explore my online fantasies. Though I am male, all three of my characters are female and run the range of being a full on domme to a submissive. I indulged in soft romantic scenes, BDSM , and even now and again a ‘force’ scene.

    Characters can be girl-next-door, to one from a video game, or even a celebrity. Almost all fantasies are played out from scat,incest, bondage and a variety of others.

    Sessions can last as long as a few hours or even play out several weeks/months depending on the setting of the scene.

    I don’t understand /why/, I enjoy playing as females. Never really thought of myself as transgender and wouldn’t want it unless is was a complete down to the DNA sort of thing. Though the domme and subby part of me depends on the sort of day I have had and what feelings I need to express.

    Anyways I have enjoyed your site for the last few months and enjoy your articles and humor. If you care to watch or want more info you can reach me at my email.

  10. Courtney Taylor Says:

    What Anon’s talking about sounds like my early days of cyber sex. I was in my early teen years, and believe it or not I discovered it via the RP chat boards of Neopets… lol

    But I try to do the same basic thing, like text RPG. Even though I do use aim most of the time… but that’s only because the people I RP with are friends. Some people I just cyber with (mostly my male friends) and some I can actually have in depth stories that go on for months. But those are normally me and my girlfriends who can type fairly well. Heheh.

    As to scenarios, specifically my gay ones, I really enjoy playing the dominant male. It’s an interesting twist, and one that really gets me going if I have a good sub.

  11. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Thanks, Viesh! And Courtney, if you’re ever looking for a good sub ;)…

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