March 12th, 2008

What do you think of Heroine Sheik? I’d really like to know! That’s why I’ve set up this super quick Google survey asking questions about the site. Seriously, answering it will take less time than reading this post. Also, it will make me love you forever. Alternatively, I’m willing to exchange cybersexual favors for survey time–as long as you don’t mind being the subject of my next column. Hey, what are you doing still reading? Go fill it out!

As an actual incentive, I do promise you this: if over 100 people fill out the Heroine Sheik survey, I solemnly swear to bake–and upload lots of pictures of–a hilariously inappropriate video game cake. Game cakes are so wholesome and adorable. Isn’t it time someone made more bloody, sexy, ridiculous ones? And 100 people, that’s nothing. You can vote for your favorite inappropriate cake at the bottom of the survey, but so far the options are:

A Zelda upskirt cake. After those Brawl action shots, who could resist? Can’t you just see the pink icing panties?
Chun-Li cake, complete with thunder thighs and other deliciously well-endowed bits.
Link in drag cake. If beautiful women can be Link, Link can surely be a beautiful woman.
Hello Kitty lesbian cookies. Who knew cookies had sexual orientation? The excellent absurdity of this one speaks for itself.
Halo tea-bagging cake. Nothing says yummy like shoving your crotch in the face of your fallen foes.

I’d also love to get some more inappropriately bloody suggestions in there. Can you say FPS cake? Red food coloring, here I come. Anyways, vote!

Tags: game cakes, housekeeping, Thanks reader!

15 Responses to “Take a Survey, Eat Zelda’s Undies”

  1. Courtney Taylor Says:

    Totally just filled out the survey!!!

    …and I would not mind learning a few things about cybering from the Great Bonnie…

    or being the subject of a column, lol

  2. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Haha, oh yeah? What did you have in mind? By the way, “The Great Bonnie” makes it sound like I should be a giant floating brain or something :).

  3. Daikyu Says:

    As I was filling in the survey, eager to see what kind of “favours” Bonnie would be doing in exchange, I realized something. What happens if more than a hundred people are expecting the same favours, and don’t mind being the subject of a column either?

    Rather than dwell on the logistics of that problem, Courtney just gave me a good idea. We could just turn in those favours en masse for a mass-mail (or even a public and article-embedded) lesson on the finer points of online lovin’. Clearly what this site is missing.

    Or maybe it’s on the site and just hidden somewhere. In which case someone needs to learn how to use the “search” function. Yep.

  4. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    The finer points of online lovin’, aye? What exactly did you have in mind? There are a whole bunch of Click Mes that give, er, logistical advice for cybersex. Then again, maybe “how to masturbate while typing” doesn’t count as the finer points :). But if there’s anything you ever want to know more about, feel free to let me know!

  5. Eric Says:

    Survey filled out!

  6. Daikyu Says:

    Hmm, I didn’t realize all the articles could be brought up like that at the same time. Found lots of good advice after reading a handful of them. A link to all of those articles should be on the navigation bar at the top of the page!

    Oh, and those “Cliff Notes” in the “About” section should be more prominently displayed as well. In what way exactly, I’m not sure.

  7. Courtney Taylor Says:

    But how would a giant brain masturbate? lol

    Well, I know I personally do a lot of cybering, but I’m one of those people who likes good typing and good technique, and I’m always curious to hear what other people think of me…

    But in the world of online sex, most guys and gals don’t wanna stick around for a critique.

    Perhaps you could help?

  8. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Good site advice, Daikyu. Unfortunately the Voice is in charge of changes on the site; my hands are somewhat tied. There are snags from months ago that still haven’t been fixed :(. But if I ever regain site-y control, I’ll be sure to think about that stuff!

    What kind of cyber haunts do you frequent, Courtney? Maybe I’ll run into you somewhere…

  9. Darkpen Says:

    While I voted for Zelda upskirt, perhaps something along the lines of this video, as well D:

  10. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    It’s good to know someone’s watching out for the stylishness of more or less invisible panties. *That* would be an interesting image gallery: the incidental underwear of video games women…

  11. Courtney Taylor Says:

    Eh… not haunts so much. At least not now that my webcam is broken. Mostly I just chat people up on various sites, or find them on places like and ask if they’d be interested, then we take it to AIM. But it can be hard finding partners sometimes…

  12. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Hmm, WooMe. I haven’t checked that one out. I’ll have to give it a go!

  13. Courtney Taylor Says:

    WooMe is like a speed dating service, but it’s a good jumping off point for other things. Pretty interesting.

  14. Danielle Says:

    Halo Tea Bagging cake plz

  15. Says:

    always i used to read smaller articles that as well clear their motive,
    and that is also happening with this piece of writing which I am
    reading at this time.

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