In theory cybersex addiction experts are, well, experts about cybersex. So they couldn’t really be online virgins, could they? Read this week’s Click Me and find out.

These people mean well. At least, I hope they do. They’re therapists who make their living treating patients, writing books, and appearing on TV to talk about the dangers of online sex. Granted, cybersex (and internet porn) addiction can be a real issue in a person’s life–and it’s good that people are addressing it. But the fact of the matter is, when you go on national television and compare cybersex to crack cocaine, you’ve crossed the line from preventative to sensationalist. There’s a reason why the vast majority of Americans still think online sex is only for “perverts”–and it’s not because it’s true.

After writing a Click Me about cybersex addiction, I was feeling seriously uncomfortable with the way these “experts” talked about sex online. In particular, I was bugged by the “Are you addicted to cybersex?” quizzes that appear on their websites, where concerned internet users can answer questions to determine if they need to seek professional help. Sounds well-intentioned but some of the questions are so sexually biased and judgmental it goes beyond sensationalism and straight into discrimination.

For example, answer yes to the following questions and you should (supposedly) be concerned: “Do you have sex with other people online?” “Do you masturbate while talking to other people online?” “Do you engage in online sex with multiple partners?” These same experts, when pressed, claim a controlled amount of online sex can be part of a healthy life–so why should these things make you pathological? Then there’s the most ridiculous question of all: “Do you feel guilt or shame from your online use?” With “professional” discourse likes this floating around the mainstream media, how could any cybersex participant not feel guilt and shame?