Click Me is back! That’s right, the Village Voice cybersex column you know and love is on its feet again, with its new publication day on the site: Mondays.

The first piece after the hiatus? Meet Trixie. She’s a self-defined “web whore,” but don’t let the reclaimed title fool you. She’s smart, sexy, and her porn site TastyTrixie.com is totally indie. She also plenty of spunk. Defy expectations. Keep creative control of your own body. Don’t always give the dicks what they want.

I first got interested in Trixie a few months ago, after Boinkology published some tips in response to my webcam column. Instead of going to big sites, they suggested, why not support a girl who’s actually running things herself? I was impressed with Trixie’s site, and her approach. It wasn’t just hot, it was smart. And as any distinguishing cybersex enthusiast will tell you, there’s nothing sexier than brains.

On the phone, Trixie made lots of great, insightful comments I wasn’t able to include in the piece–including commentary on how credit card companies can essentially control the adult content on the internet (something I’d never thought about before) and how “women who make their money ‘appealing to the lowest common denominator’ have been vilified, stigmatized, and victimized for too long.” That’s why she’s reclaiming the name “web whore.”

Why do I feel like we need that printed on t-shirts?

I try to stay away, but they just look so delicious.

Sadly, due in no small part to my own cake-y negligence, it seems GameCakes.com has become a barren (if well-frosted) wilderness. Still, Kotaku can be trusted to break down every now and again and post about particularly awesome game cakes–like this multi-later Wind Waker beauty. Recognize the Link toy on the top? It seems the gender-ambiguous Heroine Sheik mascot has been lured away from home with sugar.

Equally adorable, and just as brightly colored, are these Mario cupcakes. You got to respect someone who has enough patience to decorate those, especially when all that prettiness can get ingested in just a few bites. Ah, the fleeting art of game cakes…

The site has only existed for a few weeks now, and already I’m in love with Lesbian Gamers. It’s not just the open LGBT-ness of it all–always minty and refreshing in our “No, you’re gay” community–it’s the fact that they’re having fun.

Take this cute little post about Cooking Mama 2: Dinner with Friends for example, delicately crafted to become “Dinner with Dykes.” It points out how all the adorable cooking buddies in the Cooking Mama 2 logo could really be your lesbian (or just generally LGBT) friends who have come over to mooch off whatever crazy, inedible, fish-themed Cooking Mama dish you’ve decided to fix up. Seriously, who would eat that stuff?

I killed Bambi. Yes, the Bambi. I did it like 20 times. And I liked it.

We’ve talked before about the role sadism plays in our enjoyment of cute games. Apparently, there’s only about thirty seconds of gameplay time between, “Oh, what an adorable puppy,” and “I wonder what would happen if I chucked this frisbee at his head.” Or, if Nintendogs is too queer an example, think about Katamari. Sure, all those brightly-colored people wandering around are cute–but they’re a heck of a lot cuter when they’re rolled up in your giant ball, screaming for help.

Well, the same “It’s cute, therefore I want to see it suffer” rule seems to go for Orisinal games. Apparently I’m the last person on the face of the cool, indie games planet who didn’t know about these simple, pretty flash games. Many of them use adorable animal avatars. It’s your goal to help these animals reach general goals of safety and happiness. Of course, if you lose, these adorable animals fall to their deaths.

Okay, they don’t really fall to their deaths. At least, there’s no adorable animal blood that I’ve seen. Still, as a player, I actually get more reward out of watching my bunny plummet from the sky or giggling as yet another Bambi-like deer misses a platform and prances into oblivion than from succeeding at the game. The deterrent has actually become the, I don’t know, encouragement. The thing is, you have to do well in order to prolong that eventual reward. Twisted, right?

So, is it just me? Am I the only sick bastard who sees something sadistic in all this cuteness?

It should come as no surprise to Heroine Sheik readers that I’m a giant sexy lit dork. After all, you’re dealing with a girl who wrote an entire thesis on perversion in Surrealist literature–and who nearly up and moved to Lacoste, the ancestral home of the Marquis de Sade, the week before last. To be honest though, even I’m surprised just how ridiculously excited I am about what I bought in Paris this past weekend.

After an afternoon spent wandering book shops and buying nothing (usually I’m a total sucker for spending way too much money on books), I found myself poking through the rare book vendors along the Seine. What should appear there but a first edition, yellow and black, totally unassuming copy of Story of O.

If you’ve never read Story of O, don’t believe all the stupid “Happiness through Slavery” hype. Yes, O–the lovely young protagonist–gets taken to a chateau and used for pleasure. Yes, she gets beaten. Yes, she enjoys it. But before we get our second-wave feminism knickers all in a twist, let me say there’s a whole lot more to the story (as if being a masochist needed justification). As a sub and a woman, it’s probably the most empowering thing I’ve ever read.

Anyways, after getting my new treasure home, I carefully freed it from its plastic wrap and discovered that is indeed a numbered first edition. It even has a–presumably hand-printed–plate of a Hans Bellmer lithograph. The dork in me could just die. I don’t even know who to call. Thank you, zombie Jesus.

It’s Friday, and that means there’s no use in thinking any actual thoughts. Instead, let’s be content with purchase lust. Or covetousness. Or good old-fashion greed. Or something. What I really mean to say is, I want Super Mario Galaxy, and I want it now.

Why do I pine so? It’s not just because this is a major title on a system I support with great reviews. It’s not even because this game is a total cock tease. Is it being released now? How about now? It’s because I am and always have been a Mario girl at heart–and Galaxy looks like the first Mario game that might be able to recapture some of that “holy bejesus” Super Mario 64 magic. Is it possible I’ve never ranted before about my trippy, life-altering, over-dramatic and preteen Mario 64 experience? Another time, another time.

The point is this: the screenshots are shint; the footage is a bit nauseating. I might as well be sitting in my living room waving around a little Nintendo pendant. Here’s hoping that after months of (albeit skeptical) anticipation this Mario girl won’t get let down.