August 28th, 2007

Seeing how Bioshock is set in a the-individual-comes-first, collectivism sucks, Ayn Rand-y kind of universe, it makes total sense that capitalism would have such a strong presence in the game. Whether it’s the endless (ly ironic) ads that dot the Rapture walls, or the economic flow of cash/Adam that allows players to buy new powers, or the way that even machines can be bought out instead of hacked, this particular dystopia screams, “Express your power as a person through your purchasing power!”

Well, God damn it, I’m ready to buy things. First my review copy arrived free of charge. (I’m not actually complaining about that; my wallet thanks you muchly, 2K Games). Then the soundtrack was downloadable–legally!–online. Now the art book is free as well. Jesus, sell me something. There are so many possibilities. I would hang the poster version of any of those ads on my wall, and proudly. I would buy an adorable plush Big Daddy–named Mr. Bubbles, of course–and then I’d buy another. I’d even fork over cash for a creepy replica figurine of those Little Sister statues that flank Gatherers’ Gardens. They’re faces are so shiny…

For now I suppose we’ll have to settle for the sweet taste of “Nico-time” and “teeing off for flavor.” If nothing turns up to purchase soon though, we might all end up communists. How would like that, Ayn Rand? How would you like that?

Tags: Blog

7 Responses to “I Demand More Bioshock Merchandise (Capitalism FTW!)”

  1. Scott Jon Siegel Says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I want it all. And I want it now.

  2. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Now little Scott, don’t get greedy. I’d settle for some of it, and sometime soon. Like a Mr. Bubbles squeaky toy. For some reason that sound oddly appealing…

  3. Leigh Says:

    I want a cigarette lighter shaped like an Adam needle and a real Pep Bar and some Sander Cohen original sculpture. And a keychain that looks like Spider Splicer hooks, and a great big drill to wave at my enemies, and one of those dirty little button jumpers that the Little Sisters have got.

  4. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Apparently there are Adam needle pens, complete with red, bloody goodness–but there’s something about needing to be a member on the Bioshock site and exert actual effort instead of just forking out cash. I’m hoping the first round of fan-based craft art starts soon so I can buy it up off Etsy. Little, hank-knit Little Sister dolls? Oh yeah.

  5. Kimberly Says:

    I reallllyyyy wish for a plushie big daddy too. I found a crochet pattern for a big daddy, but not very cuddly, neither are THOSE stupid baseball dolls. I want like the little plushies you can find on the ground in Bioshock 2. They are too cute, minus a part missing in some from a little ‘tampering’ XD

    crochet pattern:

  6. Kimberly Says:

    Also this:

    …but no REAL plushies =((((

  7. Kelly Says:

    Very interesting article, glad i found you by mistake :)

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