August 8th, 2007

When I posted about last Friday’s Click Me earlier this week–topic: how to meet a (good) cybersex partner–I forgot to mention that an entire gallery of Click Me-related images is also currently up at the Voice. Tried-and-true Heroine Sheik readers may recognize some: shots from strip soccer and other flash-based sex games that I used for my presentation on sex and conflict at Bard’s (mini) games conference, a virtual Jenna straddling corn, Cheeree Oh exploring Playboy Island in Second Life. Other images are brand-spanking new: fresh shots from the Xcite! store, and plenty of shots of webcam wanking.

Apparently I should have emphasized the “good” in my last column though, because I’ve been getting a lot of feedback lately from readers who are frustrated with the current state of cybersex. On one hand, they’re right: it can be a sad, unsexy world out there. There’s a lot of bad, slapdash, or otherwise uninspired cybersex going on. All I can say is, dropping out of the cybersex dating pool won’t stop that. In fact, sticking around and insisting on good cybering can only make things better. That’s my goal with Click Me in general, to raise the bar for cybersex by raising our awareness and/or discussion. You’ve got to have faith, you know.

In the meantime, I too admit it can be hard to find a reliable cybering spot these days. But I’ll be sure to clue you in when I find good ones. Please, feel free to do the same!

Tags: bad sex, Click Me, cybersex, my articles, Thanks reader!

10 Responses to “Raising Cybersex from the Gutter”

  1. Cray Says:

    Here’s a thought – and a rather ambitious one at that. If you’re actively attempting to raise good cybersex from the grave, why not provide an avenue for it yourself?

    Of course, this could very well blow up in your face in the form of a gazillion trolls, but if moderated heavily enough, it could be a worthwhile endeavour. The biggest challenge would, of course, be evening out the playground, meaning we need a decent balance between men and women with diverse enough interests.

    Of course, considering this blog is largely targeted at gamers, I think that the right amount of moderation could result in a community of the more open-minded, mature gamers out there. What more could one ask for?

  2. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    What kind of avenue did you have in mind, Cray? A chat room? A social networking site? It wouldn’t be too hard to set up a place where people can meet for cybering (though, done right, that itself come be pretty novel), but I do wonder how you could monitor it for good cybering :). Maybe just allowing people to hook up with cyberers with similar interests/awareness would be enough…?

  3. Cray Says:

    Hmmm. A good question.

    I think a site with a chatroom (or better yet, several chatrooms) that offers the added benefits of a social networking system would be ideal That way, people could either meet each other directly in the chatrooms, or could opt for a slower, more cautionary approach using the social networking system. The system will obviously have to be worked out exceedingly well to cater to gamers specifically.

    As for the chatrooms…I’m sure you’d agree that setting up something along the lines of “RPG Room”, “FPS Room”, “Dating Room” would do nothing more than ensure a mad rush of people to that last one. What I would suggest is setting up several rooms based not on game genre, but rather on setting. Fantasy, Cyberpunk, Modern day etc etc. Or perhaps “Casual” and “Hardcore”, referring to people looking for flings or monogamous relationships. Again, I’m not entirely sure whether or not this would work … it’s just an attempt to create diverse enough communities while maintaining a decent population in each.

    But again, that’s just me going on about a chatroom targeted at gamers. If you’re looking to go for a more “mainstream” (God, don’t tell me they’ve got me saying that, too) audience, it would likely be slightly easier. Moderation would actually be somewhat tricky, but it could be done. You could have a moderation “board” that accepts requests for an account on the site. You could base these on imagination, creativity etc.

    This would ensure that the site is populated mostly by people who, at the very least, know how to write. To filter the riff-raff out even further, the final stage of the “exam” could be a cybering session with someone on the board. Obviously, the board would be extremely strict with both of these tests, but hey; it’s that kind of Nazi moderation (pardon the term) that has led to the success of several endeavours.

    I apologize for the lecture. Most of those ideas would probably sound like rubbish if I thought about them long enough. I don’t see any of them being adopted by anyone in his/her right mind as it simply involves a lot of work. Still, I am curious to hear your thoughts as well on the matter.

  4. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    I’ve been exploring the Yahoo sites/chat rooms/groups, trying to see if something like this for a “mainstream” audience doesn’t already exist. Unfortunately, either I’m missing something, or it’s a crazy tangled maze in there–though I’m hoping that’s a good thing. Make it really hard to get started; weed out the most annoying, slapdash people. I’ll certainly report back if I find anything decent…

  5. Cray Says:

    I wonder if perhaps Yahoo isn’t too big for this sort of thing…perhaps we should be starting small and growing from that point onward?

  6. Ebonstrife Says:

    Definately a valid point made.

    Everywhere you go, everything is in disarray, especially in SL. I joined in a bit late, within a few months ago, and what a mess it is. Horrid almost, enough to turn someone off.

    I do agree with Cray though- best thing to do probably is just start a community from the ground up with your “bare hands.” Don’t give up the good fight, there’s still hope yet!

  7. Bonnie Ruberg Says:

    Thanks, Ebonstrife. Glad to know other people still have faith :).

    Cray, for the sake of my own sanity, I think I’m going to keep exploring for now, but I think it’s a great longterm project!

  8. Cybersexy Says:

    No no no no no. Why would ANYONE want sex, even cybersex, served up on some quantified, ready-to-serve, microwavable plate?

    At least for me, part of the fun of cybersex is finding those partners who are gems. Sure, I have to go through many mediocre and bad partners (and I try to be honest with them if I think their technique is flawed and correctable), but the gems make it all worthwhile.

    But there is another aspect for me too: By having more partners, I am exposed to more cybersex styles and techniques, thereby improving my own technique.

    If you want to go to McDonald’s for cybersex, enjoy. I’ll be dining at the nice French restaurant down the street. It may take me longer to get my “meal”, but I bet I enjoy mine more. ;)

  9. greg Says:

    Here’s an idea: what if you could rate your partners? then others could see the writing.

  10. Jade Reporting » August 11 Says:

    […] Raising Cybersex from the Gutter Webcam Tips from Boinkology.com […]

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