A post up at Wonderland gives us the latest numbers for active users in today’s biggest virtual worlds. World of Warcraft still ranks highest–and Raph Koster’s darling, Club Penguin, is only in number four (”only,” as if four million users weren’t enough).

With 500,000, Second Life just squeaked in at number ten. What surprises me most though is Habbo Hotel in number two: 7.5 million, Jeezie-creezie! The sheer number of pre-teens in the world overwhelms me. Just think, if they started an army, it would be hopeless. Everyone over the age of sixteen would be destroyed. It would be just like “Children of the Corn,” but with more furniture sex…

Now that I have Guitar Hero, I can appreciate the fun of rocking out. But I’ve got to say, for a while there while my fiance was ranting and raving about how awesome it was (I eventually bought it for him/us as a graduation present), I was definitely feeling a gender divide in Guitar Hero fandom. He was daydreaming about rocking, and I was busy… not caring.

More specifically, he was interested in feeling cool. Let me rephrase that. It’s not that he actually thought the game would make him a rock god, but it made him feel that way–like he could put on a show. For me, the eventual appeal was more about personal satisfaction when I hit a note right (or, at this point, don’t just suck).

Granted, I have yet to discuss the matter with other Guitar Hero playing couples, but I do wonder if the divide between exhibitionist fun and personal fun isn’t indeed about gender. Girls and boys, any thoughts? Why do you love Guitar Hero? And if you too start to feel cool, remember: even Radiohead admits, “Anyone can play guitar.”

Thanks so much to everyone who was kind enough to pat my virtual back after my fourteen minutes of fame (read “minor TV appearance”) last week. If you just can’t get enough of the event, I think the full segment can be found here on YouTube. To be honest, I just don’t know; I still can’t bring myself to watch.

Another fun point of semi-interest: a link to the article that “started it all”–that is that inspired the Morning Show people to put together the segment. It’s called, “Does Virtual Reality Need a Sheriff,” and it ran in the Washington Post a few weeks back. The piece takes itself pretty seriously, but each time I read it I can’t help but laugh. It’s basically a laundry list of why virtual worlds can be terrifying, as if we didn’t have enough unnecessary terror in our real lives already.

My favorite (as in, least favorite) part of the piece is the line that warns, “In some locations avatars act out drug use, child abuse, rape and various forms of sadomasochism.” Okay, first of all, who is sitting around acting out drug use in Second Life? More importantly, in a list of illegal activities–real or simulated, I won’t even begin to rant–where exactly does sadomasochism fit in? “Safe, sane, consentual.” Ringing any bells? Sigh.

This week we talked about SexChess, naked men on arcade machines, and getting carsick on the road of rock. Also, this week I was on television for the first time (well, not counting all those public access poetry contests from back when leggings were cool the first time around). If you haven’t already caught the segment on sex in Second Life from Monday’s Morning Show with Mike and Juliette, you can find the clip here on their site.

Being on the show was actually a lot of fun–even if I came home with about three pounds of makeup on my face. (I probably should have taken pictures, but after I scratched my nose and saw the race-car stripe of foundation down the middle of my palm, I honestly couldn’t wait to scrub the stuff off. I’m like the family cat, when you try and dress her up for Halloween and she spends the whole night pawing at her Supercat costume.)

I especially enjoyed meeting Jean-Ann Mills from The Electric Sheep Company. She really knew her stuff, and I thought she did a great job sticking up for the game–even if she blushed like crazy when pressed for more personal details from her cyber life. Come on, it’s just cybersex. We’re all doing it.

As for the show itself, I’m glad I was able to slip in at least something along the lines of, “We need to figure out what we mean by rape here.” I do wish I’d had more of a chance to argue Brent’s comment that we shouldn’t call it “rape,” since “it’s all just ones and zeros.”

On a personal note, I’m also punching myself in the kidneys (yes, that would be hard) for saying that Second Life is an outlet for potential real-life violence, like S/M. Not that I don’t think it works as a fantasy outlet. But come on, Bonnie, you should know better than to throw BDSM out there as an example of something “bad,” especially “violence.” Your beautiful new cuffs are probably crying in their box right now…

I think I have a problem. Maybe you remember, in the past I’ve admitted to feeling queasy when I play first-person shooters (not particularly hardcore of me, I know). But I never expected to hit a similar wall with Guitar Hero, of all games. To tell the truth though, when I play, I feel distinctly carsick.

I know, I know, there are no cars in Guitar Hero. But watching that endless guitar neck roll by which each successive note… Just thinking about it brings back memories of family road trips through winding mountain passes. This time I can’t just shut my eyes and breathe though, I actually have to concentrate. I never could read in the car. Does anyone have a paper bag?

I’m really hoping my Guitar Hero sickness goes away, considering the game, well, rocks. I mean, I expected to be seeing musical notes each night after I played, like dreaming in frantic DDR arrows. Instead, everything around me is just kind of swirling and I think I should probably put my head down between my knees. Or open a window. Or stare out in front of the car. Wait, damnit. Maybe I just down have the stomach for rock.

Remember how we’ve been talking about LoveChess, the game that combines sex animations with the classic strategy of war? Remember how we were bummed (okay, mostly I was bummed) to figure out that the sexual interaction had almost nothing to do with fighting, it was just a visual reward? And remember how I said someone should make a version of game where sex really represented conflict?

Welcome to SexChess, my ghetto attempt to make that very game! SexChess is like LoveChess, except without the shiny pretense (no love, thank you, just sex) or the budget. Though it will never actually hit the market in any workable form, it will feature meaningful sex fighting. At the least, it’ll get turned into a fun-loving Powerpoint presentation. More info is on the way. For now, I hope you’ll get these in-progress shots of the different winning “animations.” My favorite is the pawn with the ball gag!