April 4th, 2007

Link and MidnaAfter my piece on Whorecraft, World of Warcraft-themed porn, I never did get around to talking more about video game slash. Doing research for the column, I read a lot of Legend of Zelda fan fiction (I always figured Link and Zelda were like brother and sister, but if you want to make them go at it, I guess that’s fine with me). Along the way, I came across this little tidbit called “Twilight Love.” It’s a slash story about Link and Midna, who have sex after admitting their mutual, undying love over a romantic dinner.

Now, on one level, this is ridiculous. I always figured fan fiction was about expanding the experience outside the canon but still within the realm of believability. But here we have Link “running errands” for groceries. Where does this fit in with the Zelda universe? Then there’s the fact that Midna, in Twilight Princess at least, is the size of a lawn gnome. How is she supposed to…. Well, maybe you don’t even want to know.

But after laughing this story off and watching another episode of Whorecraft, I started thinking about the uses for slash. “Twilight Love” is a pretty tame piece of pornography. If it weren’t for a few references to the woods and some howling, it could take place anywhere, with anyone. Now, I don’t know the age or sexual experience of the author, but maybe what the Zelda characters are doing here is offering him (or her) an entrance into the world of sex. He starts with what he knows. So it’s not so much about the Zelda universe as its place within the universe of the fan.

Tags: Blog

17 Responses to “XXX Hot Link on Midna Action”

  1. Leigh Says:

    Ooh, fanfiction, my favorite topic. As a hearty but circumpect (read, not rabid) anime fan, I read a LOT of this stuff (like a car wreck I can’t tear my eyes from). There seems to be two distinct types of fanfiction based on fantasy canon (video games, comic books, anime, scifi TV, etc). The motivation for one type seems to be when fans want to have wish-fulfillment in the storylines they’ve come to love. They can’t accept that the series ended, or don’t like who their favorite character ended up with, so they rewrite or expand on the canon– “let’s say Spike didn’t die,” or “let’s say Ash and Misty get married and have a kid.”

    The other is the kind of porn writing you mention, in which you could essentially just change the names and the setting and it would be any old porn. There are quite a few ambitious writers who attempt to develop a realistic extension of the characters they’re using, but given that the source material is not (or quite rarely) overtly, explicitly sexual, it’s a tall order to try and translate a character’s sexual behavior based on the way they behaved while solving crimes and saving the world. Not that nobody can pull it off, it’s just rare.

    The purpose of both types, porn or not, seems to be the same, though– I think you hit the nail right on the head. It’s less about the source media and more about the fans. Most commonly, canon and characterization is largely ignored because essentially, the fans are using writing as a way of owning the story AND putting themselves into it. Many fanfics introduce some kind of thoroughly-treated, utterly admirable “original” character– who is, of course, an idealized version of themselves. And the video game main character always makes friends with them, or falls in love.

    Writing about Link and Midna having sex probably makes this author feel closer to them– and I agree with you, probably makes the idea of sex more comfortable or interesting if his digital friends are doing it, as opposed to thinking of “real” friends or classmates or whatever. It also allows the author to take what he/she does in the Zelda game– control Link– one step further, and take control in the most intimate way he/she can imagine, even if that imagination is primitive. It’s his/her way of deepening his/her relationship with the video game characters, making them more viscerally “real” and maybe thereby enriching the gameplay experience.

    Though people who write descriptive Taki and Sophitia bondage-lesbian fiction, I think it’s safe to say, are just masturbating.

  2. Patrick Says:

    At the end, I was seriously hoping for a Zelda/Midna kiss. I was sorely dissapointed.

  3. Brad Jackson Says:

    Re: Lawn Gnomes.

    So the romantic dinner followed by hot monkey sex didn’t take place with the ultra hot version of Midna that she became after Gannon was defeated? Weird.

  4. Scott Jon Siegel Says:

    A lot of adolescent slash fan-fiction seems to me to be the equivalent of crude sexual drawings. Never been an artistic person myself, but Jim Carrey’s character in Eternal Sunshine draws pictures of women with over-exaggerated, unrealistic sexual genitalia to get off when he’s a young teenager. Apparently that’s a thing artistically-inclined awkward teens do. Can anyone vouch for that? Does anyone even want to?

    I read a few other Zelda slash on that site, and they seem to share a similar level of sexual ignorance. I think more than anything, the fanfics are an act of sexual exploration, albeit exploration based on the limited sexual knowledge the writers acquire from Victoria’s Secret magazines and late-night Cinemax. That’s what makes them so interesting. In some strange way, they remind me of Henry Darger’s work.

    To push this even farther, the focus on familiar characters might have something to do with women that the writers have “interacted” with. The “damsel in distress” figure gives undivided attention to the player’s avatar, and by extension the player. Hell, the first time I played Link to the Past, I talked to Zelda. Out loud: “Follow me! This way!” There’s an established connection there, but the figures are still artificial enough to risk tarnishing and degrading in non-canonical lemon fic.

  5. Bonnie Says:

    Many fanfics introduce some kind of thoroughly-treated, utterly admirable "original" character"” who is, of course, an idealized version of themselves.
    Hmm, I’ve definitely been seeing a bit of that. That seems like a whole other can of worms :).

    So the romantic dinner followed by hot monkey sex didn't take place with the ultra hot version of Midna that she became after Gannon was defeated? Weird.
    Ah, spoiler alert! I admit, I am an awful person, and I have not finished Twilight Princess. But the story does mention something about Midna being impish, so I can only infer she’s old Minda, not hot, new Midna.

    I think more than anything, the fanfics are an act of sexual exploration, albeit exploration based on the limited sexual knowledge the writers acquire from Victoria's Secret magazines and late-night Cinemax.
    That’s pretty much exactly what I was trying to get at. I’m glad at least one of the two of us knows what’s going on in my head :).

    In some strange way, they remind me of Henry Darger's work.
    Oh, you do not want to even start with the Darger. We’re talking senior project material here. I will throw down! (Is that the right term? Does that mean I’m going to kick your ass in Darger knowledge? I am so not street…)

  6. Coldstone Says:

    Woa, throw down is old 90’s slang.

    Yeah not to be a spoiler, but Midna at the end is way hotter than Zelda (and of course, wearing less). She would totally win at hotornot.hyrule.com

  7. Bonnie Says:

    I like her as an imp myself, but maybe I’m just kinky like that ;).

  8. guillaume Says:

    Link and zelda are no brother and sister. They are lovers!!!

  9. A.G. Says:

    ok i’m not doing this often… ok i’m not doing this kind stuff ever but u cant belive wat u can do when u are sleepy and have nothing to doo. But i must say you are really good writer have u wroten something long this is actually maximum lenght what i can read i’m world lazyest reader but i have completed twilight princess XD but ..nice ;D

  10. Bastard Omega Says:

    As said before midna is way hotter in her “true” form at the end of the game, and if you saw her then you would wish that she was real and you girlfriend!

    But i have to say that the story “Twilight Love” sucked!!! It was more of a drable of words than a real story, i mean a story on 2-300 words sucks in general! If you want a real good one you need to find one over at least 50 000, but hey thats just me! You can find a few one-shot storys from 4-7000 that are realy good, but the longer the better (most of the time, not allways)!

    Peace & Love Bastard Omega

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