I just put up a post over at Terra Nova, called “Say Please and Thank You,” about what defines politeness in virtual worlds. Specifically, I was looking at whether or not it’s rude to ask someone in Second Life their real-life gender.
It is curious how the normal rules of manners shift online — especially the manners of conversation. Call me old fashioned, but I for one have never been able to adjust to chatroom etiquette, where interruption and non sequiturs are more than okay, they’re the name of the game.
What other strange norms of virtual politeness can we think of? Has anything ever happened to you/have you ever done anything that, in real-life, would be totally unacceptable, but online was a-ok? Who/what decides what’s polite? And have our internet expectations begun to bleed into our definition of rudeness in the real world?
April 7th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
One thing that i find interesting to think about is the nature of “beggers” in real life vs MMORPGs. From just my casual view point, it seems that one of two reactions occur. Either the begger is harshly repromanded for begging, or is given more than what he asked for. Is it easier to donate money to MMORPGers because you know they wont spend it on drugs and alochol? Is it easier to yell and scream at MMORPGers because you are hidden behind the veil of your computer? Moreover, i wonder how the MMORPG beggers feel about real life beggers.
April 8th, 2006 at 2:19 am
Hmm, I’ve never thought about that. I haven’t come across many virtual beggers myself - maybe they’re not so prevalent in Second Life. I assume these are other players who come up and simply ask for money? Are they, in your experience, a certain type of toon? Do they ask in a friendly way?
April 9th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
From my not so brief stint playing EQ and Dark Age of Camelot I experienced a fair amount of “beggers”, usually if they asked nice and I had stuff to give I’d give them stuff, otherwise I’d tell them to shove off. Generally people asked me for items more than money, they wanted the rare items or armor or weapons I was using.
As for my current etiquette difference between real life and online I do notice that I’m bolder online, I don’t think I’m rude about it but I’m more likely to say things I wouldn’t otherwise I have the guts to say face-to-face. Than again I do have the whole “Minnesota nice” complex going for me in face to face situations :)
Recently I also noticed that my online shorthand has started creeping into my speech, which tends to sometimes confuse people.
April 10th, 2006 at 7:26 am
Recently I also noticed that my online shorthand has started creeping into my speech.
Mm, I know what you mean. I saw “wtf” a lot myself, plus my fiance and I have taken to saying really creepy things to each other and then adding “lol” to the end, just for kicks. It’s funny how some of these things come to mean very different things than what they literally mean. I sense some sort of article coming…
April 11th, 2006 at 5:09 am
Interestingly enough I am more polite on the Internet than in RL - words can so easily be misunderstood without body language and voice level to convey it (and being an Autist I have enough problems with that as it is).
April 11th, 2006 at 11:15 am
Good point about body language. I think that’s also where all the “lol”’s and smiley faces come in. I guess, in a way, they make up a form of politeness too.