I am also a long-standing professional in the computer game industry and have worked on a number of MMOGs. I occasionally play male characters, especially when playing with my wife, but more often play females, primarily lesbians. Thanks to my RL experiences in the gay subculture, and being married to a female MMORPGer who I can observe, I have successfully “passed” as a lesbian for quite a few years. This includes one game where I got involved in a variety of highly promiscuous cybersex affairs with both straight women (who were experimenting online with lesbian ideas), RL lesbians (well, so they claimed, and based on my experience, I’d say at least some were), and other men who played female characters but with insufficient skill to conceal their real gender. I am certain all believe to this day that the person behind those MMORPG characters was a real-life lesbian. Part of my success, I believe, is that I never, ever reveal who I am to any of them.

Why do I do this? There are a number of reasons. First, visual images and fantasy situations both trigger eroticism for me, so I can enjoy the results on that level. Second, back when I was into the cybersex thing, I found that part very exciting. However, my wife was very ill during that period, and now that she’s better, my interest in cybering is dramatically less. Third, I enjoy an intellectual challenge. This type of role-play is both immensely challenging and satisfying because of the high degree of success I have consistently enjoyed in something very challenging. Fourth, I enjoy team play in MMOGs. I found that for me, meeting people, making friends, getting on teams, and joining guilds was easier as a female. My lesbian alter ego is far more personable, engaging and interesting to others than any of my male characters. I’m sure there are other reasons. These are ones that first come to mind

(The thought occurs that we may be using different definitions/perspectives on “secure”… let me know.)

Explaining the “age” angle: older men (and women, IMO) are expected to be less and less driven by sexual drives as they age, and that is in many cases basically true… but reduction is not elimination. How much of the “perverted” meme results from actions which, 20 years or so earlier, would have been characterized as normal, even healthy? A 25-year-old guy stares at a attractive 25-year-old gal in a bikini passing by, vs. a 50-year-old guy performing the very same act. Normal/healthy vs. perverted/sick? To be argumentative, why? (My answer would be: “age taboo”… YMMV)

There is also the fact that we have been working with pretty huge generalizations at present. “Older males” is a pretty big group to be painting with any one brush, complimentary or not. In other words, while some older males may well be more secure in their sexuality, others may not. The existence of one “sub-group” doesn’t necessarily imply the absence of the other.

The “age taboo” has significant and still basically valid reasons for existing, don’t get me wrong. However, I don’t see any real reason to assume a connection between that and a presumed lack of validity for the concept of self-awareness/self-acceptance.

My two cents…

Interesting thoughts on why older gamers cross-gender more frequently. I don’t know if I entirely buy the “more secure in masculine identity” argument though. Not to insult any of the older male gamers in the room, but do you think this is any way linked to our social stereotype of older men as more “perverted”? Why do we have this image to begin with?

BTW, I collect old gaming mags. Let me know if you’re getting rid of anything.

We played nearly _everything_: I won’t waste electrons with the full list, but I have a bedroom closet converted to shelving that is filled to overflowing with RPG boxes, modules, magazines, etc.: probably a couple thousand in stuff in there, and we used it all in one way or another, over the years. We gravitated toward Rolemaster, Call of Cthulhu/Chaosium systems (their short-lived Ringworld game was a huge hit with us), and PaceSetter systems stuff (Chill, TimeMaster, Star Ace). C&S and Traveller had their turns, too… which reminds me of how I never reclaimed my original Traveller books from that college pal of mine (grrrrrrr). The reprint is nice, but it’s just not the same.

Oh well, enough space wasted with ancient musings, I guess. (Apologies to the management…)

During my first therapy session, I asked the shrink what the difference was between my “problem” and the student chaplain (this was a Christian school), who continually heard voices from some invisible guy named “Jesus.”

To her credit, she laughed out loud at this and we spent the remainder of our several sessions together discussing whether C S Lewis was actually a pagan.

Good times, indeed. There were some, of course, like Pulling’s son and J D Eggbert, who went down a very different path with gaming. But they were tortured kids to begin with, and getting too deep into roleplaying was the least of their problems.

Thinking back, the group I hooked up with was a bit odd, I guess. It was essentially the entire junior high “computer club”, plus siblings and a few add-ons by other relationships… a little over a dozen of us, all told… all guys (of course). It was just assumed and accepted that some people would play female characters…

… although, thinking back, I do recall that there were absolutely _no_ romantic relationships between PCs allowed… so there were some boundaries that definitely existed, heh. We did have a couple PC-NPC weddings, tho… (usually with an ambush or raid mid-ceremony to break up the tedium ;-).)

Maybe it was just that it was a closed, tight-knit group… but there was never that kind of “he-man” pressure in that group (I did encounter some of that in college, tho, as I recall.) Of course, this is a group that all painted our faces various colors for a rerun marathon of “Starblazers”… so “odd” is probably a bit of an understatement…

Ah, good times, good times…