I’ve recently been talking with games writer Alejandro Garcia Williams from EGM en Español, who’s putting together a piece about gay and lesbian video gamers. He’s asked me to ask you guys a question. Respond, and your words of wisdom may end up in Electronic Gaming Monthly… in Spanish!

So, Alejandro would like to know, which video game characters do you gay and lesbian gamers find the most attractive? For the sake of fun, I’m going to throw in that annoying little tag-along: “Why?”

If you’re gay, you can of course answer for yourself. If you’re not, but have gay gamer friends who’ve openly discussed the objects of their game-related drooling in the past, feel free to tell us the story.

If you’d prefer not to out yourself in the comments section of a games blog - or if you’re overwhelmingly embarassed to admit you fantasize about Tingle - not to worry. Emails, even anonymous emails, are welcome. And remember: Heroine Sheik aims to be a safe space for homosexual gamers. If there was a way to hang one of those nifty stickers on the website, it’d be done.

A somewhat overdue, but now posted-and-pretty piece of mine, “Developing Sex in Games,” went up today at Gamasutra. It’s mostly a prose-ized interview with Brenda Brathwaite, a sex games developer and head of the IGDA’s Sex in Games SIG. She’s gotten a lot of good press lately - so heck, why not give her more?

Check it out for some brief wisdom on sex game-related discrimination, censorship, and new opportunities. Or just click over for a pic of two hot Playboy: the Mansion chicks doing it in a hottub.

I was recently de-flowered of my Sims virginity after playing The Sims 2 for an A.V. Club review. I admit, I’m new to the world of simulated living, but somethings struck me as pretty realistic - like the fact that my sim had to take a nap every other goddamn minute, or that cooking healthy food was a pain in the butt.

Other things were a bit less true-to-life. For example, the possibility for instant romance. I definitely appreciated that the game let me mack it with both men and women, but the idea that, after only two conversations, we would be wearing our hideous wedding dresses and hopping under the covers seemed like a bit much. Not that it wasn’t fun.

What makes it so strange to me though isn’t the free-flowing slutiness (My sim was set for lovin’.), it’s the statement the game is making about the potential for romance. Sometimes you and another sim just don’t click, but for the most part your conversations are the same with everyone: talk, joke, flirt, kiss, sex. That is, if you want to take it that far.

Every person you “socialize” with first becomes your friend, then levels up to be your lover. Is this just a way oversimplified version of complicated human relationships, dumbed down for the sake of simple gameplay? Sure. But it also raises an interesting point about the nature of friendships and sexual attraction.

In real life, is every friend a potential lover? Is friendship really just a masked form of flirting, or at least a way to reach out for affection? Is there ever such a thing as a platonic friendship?

It’s a topic that probably steps on the toes of some of the more homophobic among us, but it’s still worth talking about. Think, for example, of 19th century “romantic friendships” - relationships that, today, would look like romances, but then were considered close, friendly ties. Girls clasped to each other’s bossoms; men caught up in warm embraces. Now we’d call it gay. Yet there was rarely sex involved. But, then again, sometimes there was.

How do we define (and, in effect, compartmentalize) friendship, affection, romance, love, sexual attraction? Isn’t there a little of that sim promiscuity in us all?

A handful of interesting links about relationships in MMORPG’s (see Joystiq on cheating, and the Daedalus Project on romance) has got me thinking again on a favorite question of mine: What makes online sex and/or love so appealing?

At first, we were restricted to the world of the chatrooms for our sexy internet interactions. Now, with so many MMO’s and sex-related peripherals, things are getting complicated. Still, people are meeting, flirting, and sexing it up in what seems like overwhelming numbers. Personally, I left that party long ago. But it’s still a fascinating part of online/gaming culture - one through which, I think, we can learn a lot about our needs, our attractions, and ourselves.

Cybersex, in whatever form, is fundamentally different than regular sex. For more in-depth thinking the subject, keep an eye out for an upcoming column of mine on sex and interactivity in The Escapist. My question though, is why people are so drawn to online relationships - sometimes moreso than real-life ones.

True, some argue that these relationships are simply easy substitutes for what internet goers cannot get in real life: namely, someone to love. But there are definitely people out there who are abandoning real-life interactions for the fulfillment provided only by online sex and affection.

I’ve got my own thoughts on why cybersex (both in game and out) uniquely floats people’s boats, but I’d to hear thoughts and stories…

The following is a survey for an upcoming column of mine in The Escapist on gender and video game merchandise. Anyone and everyone who’d like to fill it out is welcome. Feel free to leave your answers as comments, or, for a little more privacy, email me at bonnie [at] heroine-sheik.com. Also, if you prefer to only answer some of the questions, that’s fine too. If I use your response, I’m happy to drop your name into the piece - you know, if you dig that kind of thing.

Note: For the sake of this survey, video game merch is defined as any game-related item that does not assist or influence gameplay (so interactive peripherals don’t count). Examples of game merch include t-shirts, figures, stickers, etc. When trying to figure out what gamer merch is, it may be helpful to think of that drool-inspiring, post-expo word: swag.

-Are you male or female?

-Are you interested in video game merchandise? Why or why not?

-What attracts you to certain game merchandise? Why?

-What was the last item of game merchandise your purchased?

-How much game merchandise would you say you own (a lot, a little, etc.)?

-How much would you say you’ve spent on game merchandise in the last year?

-What kinds of game merchandise do you own?

-Do you consider yourself a collector of game merchandise?

-What’s the coolest item of game merchandise you’ve ever purchased?

-Do you purchase your game merchandise online or in stores? Where specifically?

-Do you prefer merchandise that you keep at home, or merchandise you can wear/carry to display your interest in games?

-What do you think when you see someone wearing a game-related item of clothing?

-Do you think collecting game merchandise is part of being a hardcore gamer? A hardcore fanboy?

Should female gamers and developers be discouraged from creating safe, welcoming environments for women in the industry? Should women shut their mouths and hope to assimilate in the sea of men? Should gender issues be ignored?

Uh, no. But apparently that hasn’t stopped some of the lovely ladies in our midst from turning pretty catty. They say separate space is detrimental and draws attraction to women as different. Well, Lordy me!

Check out a more competent rebuttal over at Women Gamers, in a piece of mine that went up on Saturday called “Separate but Equal”. Alas, sometimes feminism just makes sense.