August 31st, 2005

When I was little, my biggest fantasy was to be invisible. I’m not sure what was supposed to be so sexy about it, but at the time it sounded like a blast. Now, at the ripe old age of twenty-something, I seem to have gotten over my invisibility fetish. Still, there’s something intriguing, exciting even, about the idea of going undercover, unnoticed and undetected – of becoming, even for a little bit, someone completely different. In a way, it offers the same sort of thrill as invisibility; the real you is literally nowhere to be seen, tucked away as safe from harm as if you were invisible. And, of course, there’s something erotic about simply pretending, about being what you’re not, about understanding yourself so fully that you can alter that self… the whole sexy spy thing.

All of which somehow relates back to the idea of being an undercover booth babe. Because the thing is, I kind of want to. Not that anyone’s knocking down my door to put me in spandex and parade me around an expo, but it could be done. Beyond the whole disguises-are-fun bit, it would be a great opportunity to do a behind-the-scenes piece for some publication or other. I’ve never really understood the inner workings of booth babes, game-related or otherwise, and this would sure be one way to get a better, less judgemental feel. Plus, I’d get a chance to chat with these women and hear what they actually think, not just what they tell fans or the occasional reporters. And the whole experience would totally have to trigger some Santaland Diaries-esque piece of hilariously bleak non-fiction. Really, I’d be in it for the material.

There would be draw-backs, sure: men drooling on your shoulder, half-naked photos of you circulated the internet, a general loss of respectability, and the fact that you’d be missing part of a games expo. But it’s not like I’m running out to do this tomorrow. The whole thing is still in theory stage. Besides, you could have damn good time messing with these guys – whispering confusing things in their ears (“Your love handles remind me of a hot Savanah night”), baffling them by discoursing intelligently on games, reciting your life story: how you grew up on a farm in North Dakota and used pigs instead of blankets to keep away the cold of those bitter winters. Maybe I’m just cruel, but I think it would be hilarious to tell some man your name was Cupcake (“Yeah, I know my parents were weird,” giggle giggle), only to have pictures appear on the internet of him, grinning like a fool, with an arm around you, captioned “Me and Cupcake.”

Tags: Blog

3 Responses to “Undercover Booth Babe – To Be, or Not To Be?”

  1. Scott Jon Siegel Says:

    You know, I couldn’t think of a single constructive comment to tack on to this sublime post, but who needs one? Why can’t people just post a simple compliment without feeling the need to start a discourse on the topic?

    No discourse today. This is still one of my favorite posts on this site. Kudos. -sj

  2. Bonnie Says:

    Thanks for the compliment, and the note on posting for, well, posting’s sake. Obviously I don’t draw enough militant feminists (Anyone else notice how even on my own site I seem to be the only girl?), because by now somebody should be yelling at me for considering using my body to get a good story. Alas…

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